


In Night Vale, You Can be a New Man

by charlesdarwininthetardis



Category: Welcome to Night Vale
Genre: Acceptance, Belonging, Canon Compliant, Fluff, Kind of angsty, Loss, M/M, Marriage, One-Shot, Post-Desert Otherworld, Post-Engagement
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-19
Updated: 2016-01-19
Packaged: 2018-05-14 21:31:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,875
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5759557
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/charlesdarwininthetardis/pseuds/charlesdarwininthetardis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Carlos and Cecil were reading the newspaper on an early Sunday morning when Cecil suddenly has a brilliant idea.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In Night Vale, You Can be a New Man

**Author's Note:**

> This actually has nothing to do with "Hamilton"; I just couldn't resist the title.

It was a normal Sunday morning, and Carlos and Cecil were casually reading the newspaper while having their morning coffee. Of course, what with the imagination edition of the newspaper being the only type of newspaper actually available in Night Vale, the two men were in reality imagining what the morning news would probably look like rather than actually _reading_ it, but both men had gotten used to ignoring that particular technicality. Things like that were just par for the course in Night Vale.

Cecil finished imagining a particularly interesting story about werewolves on the loose in the Whispering Forest and took a sip of his coffee. He caught sight of the sunlight glinting off his beautiful new engagement ring when he suddenly had a brilliant non-newspaper-related thought. He took another sip of his coffee and then looked intensely at Carlos until the scientist finished imagining whatever article he was currently thinking about. Something about science, probably.

Although Cecil stared at Carlos for probably a good five minutes, the scientist was too lost in thought (about science) to really notice Cecil’s stare, causing the radio host to finally give up and get Carlos’s attention the old-fashioned way.

“Carlos?"

Cecil’s sudden breaking of the silence snapped Carlos out of his science-based reverie. He jumped, nearly spilling coffee all over his loungewear terry cloth lab coat. “Yes, Cecil? Sorry, I was considering how best to tackle the problem of carnivorous plastic wastebaskets that I imagined appeared in the newspaper.”

“Carlos, I just had a brilliant idea.”

“Yeah...”

“Do you wanna hear it?”

“Yeah...”

“So you know how our wedding is in like six months, right?”

“Yeah...”

“And you know how in all the books and movies, the bride changes her name to match the husband’s, right?”

“Yeah...” Even using his incredible deductive powers of science, Carlos could not see where Cecil was going with this.

“But obviously that's not gonna happen in our case.”

“Yeah...”  

“Because there's no bride in our relationship.”

“Yeah...” Carlos _had_ figured that much out, at least.

“Obviously.”

“Yeah...” Although he still didn’t really know where this was going.

“So we're left with a couple of options.”

“Yeah...”

“We could do nothing and keep our individual last names.”

“Yeah...” Carlos didn't necessarily see a problem with that option.

“But that's really boring. And it feels incomplete. And unofficial.”

“Yeah...” Carlos had to admit that Cecil did have a point.

“Or we could smush our names together and both be both Palmer-Scientists.”

“... Yeah...” The scientist in Carlos (which, let's be honest, is all of him) did not like this plan. It was far too confusing.

“But that would be too confusing.” See, even Cecil understood that.

“Yeah.”

“So that leaves us with one of us taking the other’s name.”

“Yeah...” Just when he had caught up, Cecil had left Carlos behind in the dust, and the scientist was again struggling to keep up with his fiancé’s logic.

“And I think we can both agree that ‘Carlos Palmer’ doesn't sound very good.”

“Yeah...”

“So obviously that leaves us with one choice.”

“Yeah...”

“I take your last name and I become Cecil the Scientist! It's perfect!”

“Yeah... Wait. What? No. That’s not possible.” Carlos had finally caught up with Cecil and could hardly believe his ears. Because what Cecil was saying made no sense.

Cecil looked confusedly at Carlos and attempted to explain. “It is though! You're a scientist, and that makes me a scientist by association because I'm going to marry you. So, Cecil the Scientist. Obviously.”

“What? No. Not obviously. It doesn't work like that. You're not a scientist!”

“But we have all been scientists and one point or another in our lives.”

“No we aren't! I mean, yes we are. Maybe. I guess. But it doesn't work like that because that. Is. Not. My. Name.”

“Obviously your name isn't ‘Cecil the Scientist,’ silly, because your name is Carlos! Carlos the Scientist!”

Carlos stared incredulously at the radio host and shook his head. “Cecil, I love you dearly, but how many times do I have to tell you that I have an actual last name?”

“Only once. Because you told me the first time we met that you are Carlos the Scientist!”

Carlos knew that there was no reasoning with his boyfriend, but he usually made the effort to try. This morning, though, he was too tired to deal with it, so he stood up and exchanged his terry cloth lab coat for an actual polyester lab coat at the door.

Cecil watched him get ready. “Where are you going, Carlos?”

“I'm going to do some science.” Carlos grumbled semi-bitterly.

“Of course! Because you're Carlos the Scientist. That's who you are.”

Carlos paused on his way out the door and turned around to look at Cecil. “Wait, what did you say?”

Cecil stood up from his seat at the table and went to Carlos, pulling him into a warm embrace. “You're Carlos the Scientist. That's who you are. And that's all that matters to me.”

Carlos pushed himself out of Cecil’s arms and turned around so he could look his soon-to-be husband in the eyes. Slowly, he said, “So when you say...”

“I don't care what your last name was. It doesn't matter. What matters is that you're a scientist and that you love science and that you do science and that you save the city using science practically once a week. A name is just a word, Carlos. It doesn't really mean anything at all and so I don't really care about it.” He tapped Carlos on the chest and looked meaningfully into his chocolate brown gaze. “What I care about is who you are and who you identify as. And you identify as a scientist. So that's who are are to me. No more, and no less.”

Carlos drew back from Cecil in surprise. He was silent for a moment as he considered what his boyfriend had said.

“So when you cut me off before I can tell you my old last name...” He began.

“It's because I don't care about who you were before. I care about who you are now.” Cecil drew Carlos back into his warm embrace. He nuzzled the scientist’s perfect hair.

He rubbed Carlos’ back as he murmured into his ear, “Your original name is just that: A nominal title for who you were when you came here originally, so many years ago now. But you've changed. You've become a completely new person, and that static name has remained the same, keeping you stuck to the past of who you were.” He paused, unsure if he should say what came next in his train of thought.

Carlos noticed his fiance’s uncomfortable pause. “Yes?” He breathed to prompt the normally-so-chatty radio host to continue.

Cecil sighed and obliged. He could never resist Carlos’ scientific curiosity.

“It keep you stuck to the past of who you were. Before you came here.”

There, he said it. He had been hiding those feeling of fear ever since-

“I'm sorry, what?”

Cecil stiffened after the momentary release. How could Carlos not understand what he meant? Or rather, why would Carlos make him explain what he meant when obviously he was ashamed to say it? He had _paused_ , after all.

But Carlos was a scientist, and he would not stop until he understood. And Cecil was his boyfriend, and he did everything in his power to help Carlos understand. So Cecil had no choice but to step back, scratch his neck uncomfortably, and explain.

“Your name. It marks who you were before Night Vale. Who you were in your old life. And while everything else changes, it remains the same. It remains an anchor to your old life, never letting you forget it or leave it behind. And if you won't leave it behind, then there's a possibility that you will go back to wherever you came from, to that University of What It Is, and leave me here.

“I don't want to lose you, Carlos. In the most scientifically interesting community in the U.S., I was lucky enough that you chose me to marry. And you have no idea how happy your presence in my life and our future plans make me. But what if I'm not interesting enough? What if I'm not good enough for you to not leave me again? This time for good?”

Cecil collapsed on a chair, the exhaustion of revealing his greatest fear overtaking him. And Carlos, for his part, was struck by the raw intensity of the speech Cecil just gave. But there was something gnawing at him.

“Wait. Cecil. How did you know about the University of What It Is?”

“Um...” Shoot. The cat was out of the bag. Cecil should have known that Carlos would have been too observant to let that slip slide. He sighed and revealed what he had kept secret for years.

“They called. They were looking for you. A couple of years ago, while you were in the desert otherworld. They said you had vanished while on a research trip. And they needed you to return to continue teaching science to your students. It had been decades since they last heard from you... ”

“And you never told me because you thought I would find my work with them more important and leave.”

Cecil nodded unhappily. “Yes.”

Carlos smiled and shook his head. “Cecil, you know I love you more than anything in this world. Even more than science! And you know how much I love science. But I'm not going to leave you. Not again. I love you so much, Cecil, and I love this town. Even though I'm pretty sure at this point that I should just give up on science because it doesn't work here. Like, at all. But I won't because I am a scientist and that is what a scientist does. He does science on that which doesn't make sense until it does. But the point is, Cecil, that I am not planning on leaving you. Not again. I plan to stay here and be with you until the end of our days together. That's why I asked you to marry me, silly goose. Because there is no one, and no where, I would rather spend the rest of my life than here with you.”

Cecil, relieved, jumped and hugged Carlos tightly, murmuring, “Oh, Carlos, oh my sweet and beautiful Carlos...”

Carlos thought for a moment as he returned Cecil’s hug. “Although, it would have been nice for you to have mentioned that phone call a little earlier. I should probably contact them. God, who knows how long it’s been now.”

“I'm sorry, Carlos.”

“It's okay, Cecil. But I'm not sure if this understanding helps our conflict with the names.”

Cecil paused, then smiled mischievously. “You know, even though you aren't going to go back to your old life, your old name still doesn't match who you are currently. And I'm still partial to ‘Cecil the Scientist.’”

Carlos could only laugh. “Alright, Cecil, if you insist.”

“And then you will officially be my dear Carlos the Scientist.”

Carlos grinned and gave Cecil a peck on the nose. “And you will officially be my scientist boyfriend.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> I had an idea for this super short and fluffy fic a couple of weeks ago... and somehow it ended up way longer and different than I originally expected. But it's my only [legitimate] Night Vale fanfic ever under 2000 words, so I guess technically it's short?
> 
> This work is technically a sequel to my engagement fic "People Die, So Love Them Every Day." Readers really liked the idea that Carlos kept trying to bring his name up only for people to cut him off, so I decided to expand it into this. I hope you enjoyed!
> 
> Also, a huge thank you to @emotionalcorn for beta-reading this for me! Your advice made this way better!


End file.
